She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize
