Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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