Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
