My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
