Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
