Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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