Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
