Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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