Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
this beer tastes like vomit already
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
jump out the window naked night went bad
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
