I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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