ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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