Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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