"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize