if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Randomize
