Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times