..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just pynch a tree in the face
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude