I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
