We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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