ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
