This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
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He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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