youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
