How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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