the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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