whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
