In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
