Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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