We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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