My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
