my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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