im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
