Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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