Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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