Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
