Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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