Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru http://tfl.nu/xoee
  Replies (22) Good night (841) Bad night (3470)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit." http://tfl.nu/5gls
  Replies (31) Good night (1049) Bad night (4772)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up http://tfl.nu/ip0y
  Replies (13) Good night (658) Bad night (3025)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea http://tfl.nu/myhx
  Replies (7) Good night (574) Bad night (3595)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw. http://tfl.nu/cazb
  Replies (19) Good night (3906) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all. http://tfl.nu/filb
  Replies (21) Good night (5430) Bad night (805)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile http://tfl.nu/t48c
  Replies (5) Good night (2320) Bad night (1205)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (862): It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy. http://tfl.nu/1k8y
  Replies (7) Good night (5123) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting http://tfl.nu/1alo
  Replies (10) Good night (957) Bad night (2840)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year. http://tfl.nu/t2q4
  Replies (5) Good night (1664) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes http://tfl.nu/pi7l
  Replies (1) Good night (456) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in http://tfl.nu/almk
  Replies (7) Good night (426) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  By piano you mean.....

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Like literally a piano.

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked. (505): By piano you mean..... (719): Like literally a piano. (505): Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/b7lv
  Replies (5) Good night (744) Bad night (208)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright... http://tfl.nu/5odl
  Replies (0) Good night (490) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices http://tfl.nu/lkn8
  Replies (0) Good night (317) Bad night (304)

Randomize