Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Who wears a wallet chain?!

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  (203): Who wears a wallet chain?! http://tfl.nu/1rec
  Replies (40) Good night (710) Bad night (2485)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.

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  (201): The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me. http://tfl.nu/x7ng
  Replies (9) Good night (3584) Bad night (764)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.

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  (478): you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome. http://tfl.nu/9omq
  Replies (12) Good night (6874) Bad night (752)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.

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  (586): My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god. http://tfl.nu/ww51
  Replies (22) Good night (8541) Bad night (850)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am

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  (604): The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am http://tfl.nu/p2ec
  Replies (12) Good night (6123) Bad night (855)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.

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  (978): They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people. http://tfl.nu/oty8
  Replies (46) Good night (7456) Bad night (1503)
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  (646): View more from New York

  i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation

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  (646): i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation http://tfl.nu/0879
  Replies (14) Good night (1863) Bad night (5004)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right

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  (914): Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right http://tfl.nu/mx4p
  Replies (18) Good night (1723) Bad night (4103)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize

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  (727): Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize http://tfl.nu/86pd
  Replies (10) Good night (3988) Bad night (1045)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf

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  (208): Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf http://tfl.nu/yxjw
  Replies (6) Good night (3870) Bad night (960)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.

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  (502): Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit. http://tfl.nu/13ky
  Replies (9) Good night (2554) Bad night (1041)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.

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  (651): He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler. http://tfl.nu/6sno
  Replies (2) Good night (822) Bad night (1515)
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  (619): View more from California

  I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.

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  (619): I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes. http://tfl.nu/rji6
  Replies (10) Good night (1565) Bad night (908)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.

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  (785): Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks. http://tfl.nu/e26o
  Replies (8) Good night (611) Bad night (1242)
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  (510): View more from California

  He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.

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  (510): He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public. http://tfl.nu/l5dt
  Replies (9) Good night (494) Bad night (1221)

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