Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Houston, we have a squirter
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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