Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
