i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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