i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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