After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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