no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
