ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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