Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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