I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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