I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
