you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
