Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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