well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
