he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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