I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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