Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
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When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
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I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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