you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
