I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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