Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize