I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
