Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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