Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
