I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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