That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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